R U OK? Day: How to Have Conversations That Make a Difference

Most of us have heard the usual “It’s R U OK? Day, so check in on your colleagues” spiel. The message is important, but often it gets lost when workplaces are just worrying about how to look like they’re supporting the day.

Instead of recycling the same lines, let’s go through how to actually have conversations that make a difference, the kind that leave someone walking away a little lighter than before.

And sure, we’ll still dress up in yellow and order the team coffees (tradition’s tradition ☕💛). But we know that’s not the point. The real focus is on creating the kind of team culture where checking in is the norm, not just once a year.

In industries like tech and digital marketing, even recruitment, where everything moves fast and stress levels can spike just as quickly, “How are you?” often becomes a throwaway line in the morning standup. That’s where we can all do better.

Quick disclaimer: we’re not therapists. We’re just a team of expert recruiters who spend every day speaking to people about their careers, workplaces, and team culture. And over time, you pick up what real support looks like at work.

How to Ask (Genuinely)

If you really want someone to open up, skip the generic “Are you okay?” (guaranteed answer: “Yeah, fine.”) Instead, try:

• “Hey mate, you seemed a bit quieter than usual in this morning’s meeting, how’s everything going?”
• “It’s been a pretty hectic month, hasn’t it? How are things on your end?”
• “There’s been a lot of change around here. How are you finding it all?”

Notice the difference? You’re making an observation, showing you’re paying attention, and giving them space to go deeper if they want to. That’s the kind of conversation that matters.

Spotting the Subtle Signs Someone Might Be Struggling

Not everyone puts their hand up when they’re having a tough time. Sometimes it’s about the little changes:

• The person who always cracks a joke has gone quiet.
• Someone’s suddenly skipping Friday pub lunches or team coffee runs.
• You notice they’re sending emails late at night when they’d normally be offline. 

It’s not about playing detective or analysing every detail. If something just feels “off,” trust your gut and check in.

How to Be a Good Listener (Hint: It’s Harder Than You Think)

If they do open up, resist the urge to jump straight into problem-solving mode. You don’t need to “fix” everything. Unless they ask for advice, here’s what helps most:

• Listen properly. No checking phones at all during the chat. Even looking down for a second can make the other person feel you’re not interested.
• Be cool with the silence. Sometimes people need a pause to find the words. You don’t need to jump in to fill it – it could throw them off.
• Stay calm. If they’re upset, don’t match their energy, just hold the space and remain the positive and calm energy they need. 

If They’re Struggling, Here’s What You Can Do

• Ask what they need. Don’t assume. They’ll tell you if it’s space, a chat, or practical help.
• Encourage action. That might mean talking to a mate, family member, manager, or professional.
• Share resources. Not everyone wants to open up at work. Point them toward support services if needed.
• Look after yourself too. Supporting others is important, but your own headspace matters just as much. 

Why This Matters at Work

As a tech recruitment agency in Sydney, we often talk with tech and marketing leaders about building high-performing teams. But here’s the thing: team culture is just as important as capability. The best workplaces are the ones where people feel supported, not just pushed to perform.

That’s why at TheDriveGroup, we don’t just match people to jobs. We work with Aussie businesses to hire great talent and build workplaces where conversations like these are the norm every day, not just on R U OK? Day.

👉 Want to build a team culture where people feel supported and motivated? Chat with us today on how we can help build your team better than ever before.